Tiger woke one morning realizing that it was actually the afternoon, but that if he pretended that it was the morning then he could have breakfast and lunch all in one go, it really being the afternoon. He was very intelligent in that way.

He prowled very proudly down the stairs to the kitchen, it being pleasingly empty at this time of the day – no irritating man telling him to ‘get his head out of the freezer’ if he showed up when he was around – and prised open the freezer door, where he knew the pizzas to be stored. He was sure that Ryan would have left one right on the top for him, as he loved him so much. But, much to his utter annoyance and of course, sadness that Ryan had clearly not thought about him that morning before he left for school, the freezer was bare of pizza.

How could Ryan have forgotten him? Hadn’t he guarded this boy with his life for many years, tirelessly lying in wait for anybody who might have dared to enter his bedroom, day after day, month after month, year after year. Hardly sleeping because of his utter devotion to his safety and happiness. Hardly taking time even to eat, he was so concerned not to allow anything awful to happen to him or his property. And this is how he was to be repaid. No pizzas.

Tiger felt, quite rightly of course, very angry at the situation. And very hungry. Ryan ought to be taught a valuable lesson about his lack of concern and care for his faithful old tiger. Actually not so old, just more that he’d been around for a while. But anyway, something had to be done. But first, he had to eat. There were some rather scrumptious looking sheep outside – and wasn’t that a herd of deer in the distance on the hillside? Hmm, well, nobody could blame him if he had to go hunting instead – least of all that ungrateful boy Ryan!

A couple of hours later, his tummy nicely and deliciously full, he returned to the house, set upon devising a plan with which to teach Ryan a well-deserved lesson. All he had to do now was to think – which of course he was simply superb at doing. And because he was such a clever and cunning tiger, the answer soon came to him. Six months later.

It was now September, 2008. Very cunningly, Tiger had allowed so much time to pass since the pizza incident six months earlier, knowing that Ryan would think he had now forgotten all about it. Hah! No way. Tiger was far too intelligent and thoughtful to let something so unfair pass unpunished. And now it was time to act. (Background music please – the ‘Jaws’ theme will do very nicely).

Tiger was very aware of how neat and tidy Ryan liked to keep his bedroom. After all, hadn’t he guarded that very same neat and tidy bedroom for all those years – only for his need for pizza to be forgotten. And that very liking for tidiness was going to give Tiger his chance for revenge. He was going to give Ryan a very nasty, but nevertheless very well deserved, shock when he came home from school. And what follows next will make the hairs on the back of your neck stick up on end, it was such a clever and cunning piece of work.

First, Tiger set about pulling down all of Ryan’s posters he loved to display so much. There! that would show him. Nah nah na nah nah. With a giant raspberry sound. And he then hid them in a very secret hiding place, vowing never to tell anyone, ever, where they were – not even his great friend Cheeky the monkey. No sirreeee. Next, in a fit of terrible anger as he allowed himself to relive that moment of pizza desertion all those months ago, he used his magnificent tail in rapid sideways motion movements to scatter all of the things neatly laid out on Ryan’s desk onto the floor. Ta Da! Such sweet revenge! Hah! So Ryan thought he could just forget about his sweet, faithful, loving old Tiger eh?

For his next move, Tiger swept downstairs in high revengeful spirits to the computer. Switching it on, he proceeded to methodically delete all of Ryan’s emails and all of his saved school coursework. Nice! How would Ryan feel about THAT! Lots of detentions, and hours having to be spent catching up on his work again, Tiger sincerely hoped. Hours and hours and hours……..and Tiger would lie in his warm wardrobe, dozing peacefully, not bothering to worry if any intruders came into the bedroom whilst Ryan wasn’t there, thinking gleefully about Ryan being downstairs slaving away re-doing all of that work all night long.

And finally, as his coup de grace, Tiger went into the kitchen, opened the freezer, and removed all of the things which Ryan’s Dad had bought him for his tea for the whole of that week. Oh, how Ryan’s tummy would rumble, just as had poor Tiger’s that sad day all those months ago. And Tiger wouldn’t feel a single ounce of regret whilst he listened to those empty tummy grumblings from Ryan’s stomach, getting louder and louder as the week went by. No way, Jose! Not he. Not proud, intelligent, cunning, handsome, magnificent, faithful old Tiger.

The best Tiger there ever was.

And on that day of sweet revenge, Tiger vowed that, if ever Ryan should forsake him again, he would plan a far worse punishment in the future. So, Ryan – beware.

The End