HE’S A BIT WEIRD’
Whenever it was game time at recess, they passed me over when picking sides for sports.
A bit of a wimp I must have seemed as I was quite scrawny for my age having suffered from a chronic immune disease in my early years.
I’m not going to pretend, it was pretty saddening and debilitating to my self-esteem, not to mention that the experiences were tinged with name-calling.
But, I stayed on the side and observed.
The stigma of a loner was cast upon me from an early age. I was always the odd one out in all situations.
Then there was the experience of early love not requited. I wasn’t good enough, not popular enough in the usual school circles it seemed.
So, I stayed on the side and observed.
This continued into High School. Though I tried, I didn’t fit in to any social groups with the exception of one, the misfits! And even there I was somewhat on the outside!
So I stayed on the side and observed!
Dating? Wasn’t going to work. ‘He’s too weird, they would say.’
My prom date was told by her friends that I was too weird. So, she almost backed out on me. I was simply being used as a pass to get into the High School Prom by someone not of the same year as me.
So I stayed on the side and observed.
Perhaps due to having an immune disease and being somewhat of a sensitive child, my parents were a bit overly protective and would not let me go and visit other children in the neighbourhood until I was around 12. I don’t blame them, they thought they were protecting me.
So, I stayed at home and observed.
I had a lot of time to explore my emotions. I felt a bit more deeply than others. I always thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t seem to fit in.
I lived in my thoughts and my imagination. I had to learn to become my own best playmate.
I look back on it all now! Am I still staying on the side and observing in recent years. In terms of my work and using observation as a tool…YES.
In terms of thinking there is something wrong with me due to being sensitive and…different…
I have immersed myself in the child who faced the sadness of ‘not fitting in’ and healed his tears.
I know now that what seemed to be my greatest vulnerability, my sensitivity, has now become one of my greatest strengths if not the greatest one of all!
Plus the years of observation taught me much about human nature!
I learned how to listen to a level deeper than many others.
All of the estrangement that I faced gave me tools that have become my strengths!
Sadness gave me compassion and empathy!
Being a loner gave me the strength of self!
Not being accepted by social groups gave me an understanding of how deeply we become conditioned by societal norms to the extent that we think we have to achieve certain milestones, or we are a failure.
Everything that was a vulnerability for me has now become a Super Power!
I want to help you to find that SuperPower as well, and then radiate it!
What is your Super Power? How did exploring your vulnerability help you to find it?
Everything that happens to you can be the fertile ground upon which you grow your greatest strengths.
When you embrace your greatest vulnerability with acceptance, you can heal it and turn it into your greatest strength!
I learned to stand by myself, to believe in myself in the face of adversity.
Then there was the time I went to University and wen to visit my brother who lived nearby teaching at West Point.
He asked me what I planned on majoring in. I told him Creative Writing as I wanted to be an Author at the time. He said, ‘You’ll never succeed with doing something creative. Have you ever considered joining the Army?’
He thought he was helping me, I acknowledge. And in a funny way, he did!
He aroused an energy in me, a chip on my shoulder I must admit. I wish it could have happened another way.
But I discovered the strength of my will, first in the form of tenacity.
I learned it is better to bet on yourself by choice than to be forced to!
The Universe has a funny way, even if we don’t laugh at the joke in the moment it is taking place.
My child was on the way…money was running out…business wasn’t coming in!
The unthinkable, undesirable actually happened. No money, no home, living day to day!
If no way was found to put a roof over our head and food in our stomach, we would have been sunk! Family shelters had a waiting list, other shelter options split the families apart. And let’s face it, a shelter is no place for a newborn.
I know, I have seen them.
So most of the time on a daily basis, an answer had to be found! I discovered what was inside of me, both the good and the bad. You have no choice in such instances but to get to know both on an incredibly intimate level!
It’s amazing how much you can succeed when you are confronting the concept of failure not being an option!
But, I came out of the fire with the gift of greater tenacity. That tenacity had to eventually be tempered. But I am grateful that this side of my spirit had been allowed to see the light of day. Without it, my family would not have survived.
I became more confident as I became more deeply aware of what I was capable of doing.
I came to understand how often we are being provided for even when we feel we aren’t!
I came to understand that in the midst of great adversity, one can find space to laugh and find happiness in simplicity.
I came to understand that even though I may feel like there is little hope, there are still some worse off than I am. I know….in the midst of my struggles I was able to help a few of them by sharing what little I had.
There is something inside of you that also knows how not to give up.
-There is a confidence in you that you can choose to tap into should you choose without necessarily having to go through trauma.
-There is a wealth of abundance in the world even when you think your own personal supply has expired. You simply need to learn to work with what IS there to co-create more!
-Even if your struggle is intense, there are those ‘practical joke from the Universe’ moments that can help you to find reason to smile. And if you have a hard time, seek out your nearest dog.
-And even though you may be going through a lot, you are always in a position to help others!
When you decide to reclaim your power, your confidence and your purpose…and emerge victorious, you will likely discover that you were always successful! You simply had not listened to your own inner success story!
Astrology should be approached in a way that empowers you as a Conscious Co-Creator of your own life experience!